Thursday, July 21, 2005

Ask a Werewolf: John Roberts

Dear Werewolf,
I don't know what to say when asked about the John Roberts Supreme Court nomination. What should I say?

--Senator from somewhere (D-somewhere)


Dear Senator,

It's kind of hard to say, since we really don't know what to make of John Roberts. Under these circumstances, the best thing to do is probably to make it clear that we don't know what to make of John Roberts. You could say something like this:

"John Roberts has only spent two years as a judge. Before that, he was a lawyer for Republican administrations, special interest groups, and partisan causes. There's no doubt that he's a smart guy. But given that his actual views are a total mystery at this point, there's no telling whether he'd be a good Supreme Court justice. We'll hope to find that out in the hearings. It's possible that he'll be an excellent judge, so it's possible that I'll vote for him. But if he doesn't answer questions honestly, or if we find that he has a bunch of extreme views, I and other Democrats are going to do whatever we can to stop him."

Now, back to the Karl Rove scandal.

Yours,
--Werewolf

2 comments:

TheJew said...

I think if we started a rumor that he's pro-choice he would be forced to make a relatively less ambiguous statement. Something like:

"John Roberts has only spent two years as a judge. Before that, he was a lawyer for Republican administrations, special interest groups, and partisan causes. There's no doubt that he's a smart guy. But given that his actual views are a total mystery at this point, there's no telling whether he'd be a good Supreme Court justice. Now there are some rumors going around that the White House is saying he’s pro-choice. I don’t know if we can trust this administration but we'll hope to find that out for sure in the hearings..."

Neil Sinhababu said...

That's clever. I'm not sure we'd be able to get away with it, but it'd be fun to watch.