Saturday, March 12, 2005

Night's report

I went to Goodnight Gracie's, where an excellent blues band was playing lots of songs about trains and loving and why you shouldn't leave. For once, the gender ratio was looking good. I would've been a little more excited about this if I was feeling perfectly healthy, but I'm well enough to dance. So dance I did, and imagine my surprise when this girl named Katie shows up and compliments my dancing and my shirt (it was the bright yellowy tie-dye) and starts dancing with me. I hadn't even done my twisty-leg bit yet, so I kicked that into high gear, to widespread amusement. So widespread, in fact, that Katie's two friends got up and started dancing with me. I think this was some kind of friends and moms night for them, because their reasonably attractive moms were all there. The moms didn't get up and dance with me, though that would've been funny. I would've been more flirty and gotten someone's number, but none of the girls really caught my fancy. Still, a good situation.

I spent the rest of the night doing happy dances alone (the bright yellowy tie-dye is perfect for this. Invariably there's some middle-aged salt-of-the-Earth black men around when I'm wearing it, and they're wholeheartedly amused at my wacky moves) or doing sexy slow things with Princess Sara of Italy. I have to work on my 2-person dancing skills, but there's time in my life for that.


Mary said...

I'm glad you had a good time. You seem to work hard and deserve it. However, a couple immediate reactions/questions from a middle-aged quasi-feminist:
1. Why do you think you commented on the attractiveness of the young women's moms?
2. Why would it have been funny if they would have danced with you?

I realize there are probably instinctive, primitive reasons for this (I don't mean that in a mean way. We are geared for survival in that way.) However, say you were reading a young woman's blog who had a similar (roles reversed) evening, and she commented on the relative attractiveness of the young men's dads. Or perhaps, more aptly, said they were relatively wealthy looking. Do you think you would have some kind of reaction to that?

Even though I've reached "a certain age" I still enjoy occasionally going out and having fun. However, it's so disheartening to know that that is still something one has to be immediately judged by, even though that has nothing to do with one's intentions in being out. I think everyone enjoys looking their best and being regarded as attractive, of course, but the idea that if a woman wants to walk into an alcohol serving establishment, and will be immediately assessed and then dismissed or accepted on that level, is so depressing.

A friend and I recently went out for a drink after work (a thing we rarely do) Having ended a long, snowstormy day, walking several blocks in clothes appropriate for the weather and looking the way people do under these circumstances, we walked into this place and immediately got the once-over from two (similarly aged) gentleman followed by an instant look of disappointment. Luckily, the famale, middle-aged bartender greeted us warmly, and we enjoyed a couple of drinks and conversation with each other...our only reason for being there. That reaction, though, was not pleasant, and briefly made me feel like I had no right to be there.

So anyway, normally I would just dismiss this stuff when I read it, boys will be boys and all, but I would be very interested in seeing you contextualize this from your philosophical point of view (if you want to).

Neil Sinhababu said...

Second question first:
It's cool enough that three girls my age are getting all dancy with me. Now, if 6 women spanning 2 generations are all dancing with me, we have something approaching an AXE deodorant commercial, or perhaps the hilarious Buffy episode where ill-done magic causes almost every woman in town, including teachers, moms, and vampires, to fall madly in love with Xander. To steal a line from the show, I'd be wondering, 'Who died and made me Elvis?' (I was pretty close to thinking that when Katie showed up, not to mention her 2 friends.)

It's a little hard to fully reconstruct why I thought the attractiveness relevant. But there's a bunch of explanatory factors: me generally being single and horny, my already thinking of the hotness of the daughters, the fact that some of the moms complimented my dancing later in the night. Also, I don't know why, but it seemed to add an exciting element to the story.

Mary said...

Thanks for responding. Now that you have explained it, it does sound like it would have been funny. Thanks for putting it in perspective.